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Wingman Laws - Man Laws for the Wingman
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Wingman Laws from Wingman Laws - Man Laws for a Wingman.

WINGMAN LAWS

  1. Always be there for your wingman. If you get shot down at least you'll go down together.
  2. Determine the Target(s).
  3. Before you approach the Target(s), establish who is the Pilot and who is the Wingman.
  4. Brief your wingman on the mission and its goals.
  5. Co-piloting is accepted and encouraged if there are multiple quality Targets.
  6. Dont be selfish! Support, not personal gain, is imperative to being a great wingman.
  7. Never turn down your wingman if he picks a Target
  8. Always look out for your wingman's appearance & hygiene (i.e. - let him know if he has something in his teeth or hanging out of his nose).
  9. If you get shot down, be respectful. You never know if the Targets will change their mind or other girls could be watching. They could be friends of future Targets.
  10. Know your wingman. Chemistry is essential.
  11. Keep the Target's focus on the Pilot and his best qualities.
  12. Be willing to jump on a grenade for your wingman.
  13. Never be jealous of your wingman. Know that his success is reflective of your mastering of the The Laws and that you are a great wingman.
  14. Always use protection. You never know what missions the Target has played a part.
  15. Carry three condoms; one for you, one for your wingman, and one for when you wake up in the morning. You may not need the third if you jumped on a grenade the night before.
  16. Be open to advice from more experienced and successful wingmen. (i.e. The Silver Fox)
  17. Never block (CB) your wingman!
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User Submitted Laws

  1. Always keep a line of sight with your wingman. he may have a point POV (point of view) that could change mission directives. trust in your wingman, more than you trust yourself.
  2. No matter how ugly or fat, the wingman motto is "You take the best, I'll take the rest."
  3. Never insult the pilot to the target or discuss previous missions with the target (I really have some dumb ass wingmen).
  4. Never give out specific information about your wingman to his target. Mystery and exaggerations are key. Also, always analyze your wingman - women pay attention to details. Never let him drink from a straw. Definitely give him mints if necessary. Definitely don't let him pay too much attention to a target. Know your code words or body language.
  5. When travelling in a pack ensure to have a TACP (Tactical @$$hole Control Party) with you. This will ensure that while accomplishing your mission on the intended target, no other pilot will try to swoop in for your kill. TACP observes the environment and sends additional wingmen in for any and all bogies.
  6. Never approach the pilot's target unless invited.
  7. If another potential target accompanies the pilot and seems drunk enough to join the pilot and the original target(No matter what she looks like) the wingman is to encourage it.
  8. When going in for the kill make sure you and your wingman know whats happening.If in the middle of combat you get lost or lose your wing man have a check point to return to. Also if there is a large number of bogeys ( target's friends also know as cb) flight in the Alpha formation.( thats the arrow head formation) this well break up the pack. Make sure the wingman goes in first.
  9. If you get kicked out of a hotel with 2 beds, one bed will work. Just make sure you high five the co-pilot during the mission!
  10. No matter how expensive or elaborate the mission gets, the wing leader / Pilot's motto is "Thanks for your help with the wreck, I got the check."
  11. If needed, advise the pilot of any intel acquired about the target, that will affect the mission!(STD) flip on the Bailout Warning light, and punch out!!!
  12. If only one man obtains his target, the other must be willing to sacrifice his bed for the night if the successor is not able to go to his own.
  13. If your pilot is too shaken up to fly (too drunk to stand), you have to talk him down. Wingmen themselves must never get in this condition.
  14. never celebrate your mission's success until you make it back to the hanger
  15. If your pilot has successfully engaged a target, but is for whatever reason unable to keep the dogfight going, the wingman will make an ass of himself. This gives the timid pilot and the acquired target something to talk about (ex. What is your friend doing?), allowing for the conversation to continue. This is a corollary to "jumping on a grenade."
  16. If your wingman attains missile lock on a bogey in your HUD, immediately manuever so that your Jet Wash sends wingman into Flat Spin.
  17. Women can be "wingmen" too
  18. Never leave the wingman behind
  19. Always remember, the wingman can become the pilot in midair, so fly together with one purpose!
  20. Wounds acquired while jumping on grenades are not to be held against fellow wingmen!
  21. Wingmen know when to go to bed for the good of the pilot to have a successful mission.
  22. Changing wingmen mid-flight is ok if the new wingman has hot friends.
  23. If you and your wingman are tangoing with the same bogie, watch out for friendly fire.
  24. If you and your wing man are failing in a mission never accept defeat and never leave a fallen wingman.
  25. Always agree with your wingman on a potential target.
  26. A wingman may break formation to deflect a bandit if necessary to more effectively complete the mission.
  27. Never leave a dorky wingman out to dry (happened to me haha).
  28. If you are going to go ugly, you might as well go ugly early!
  29. NTFTF (Nothing's Too Fat to F@#$)
  30. A loyal wingman will always gladly pick up the tab for the pilot and any targets so the pilot may leave in a timely manner without worry. (You can always collect back from the Pilot the next day or just have him repeat the duty - WingmanLaws.com addition)
  31. In case of a mishap, make sure to have a designated CSAR (Combat Search & Rescue) on stand by. When flying the mission, remain in a loose deuce formation. submitted by Robert from Ruston, LA
  32. Whenever there is a break in the mission discuss the mission status with your pilot. Update him on any thoughts, vibes, concerns you may be feeling. submitted by Julian from Old Tappan, NJ
  33. A good Wingman must be aware of his surroundings, learn the area, find alternate exits and escape routes. If the Target's "Ex" shows up always be prepared to grab the Pilot and reroute the mission to the bar down the street. submitted by Smooge from North Olmsted, OH
  34. If the wingman accidentally CB's the pilot, the wingman must CB himself also. If one doesn't get lucky neither does the other. submitted by Dawghouse from Ruston, LA
  35. During a mission if the pilot must break formation to acquire more fuel or drain used coolant the wingman must speak good of the pilot, but cannot confirm or deny the parameters of mission. submitted by Kitt from Marion, OH
  36. During the pre-mission brief, the Pilot & Wingman (or men) should decide what the appropriate phraseology & mission launch/abort codes will be. submitted by "Maverick" from KBTR in LA
  37. If your target's flaps double as air brakes/spoilers, you may want to change your target. Also, if the target is on the monthly TFR and doesn't post a NOTAM or PIREP, abort the mission and GTFO. (Get the f*** out) submitted by Maverick and Dawghouse from KRSN - where the party never ends.
 
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